A "Doubt Drive-By"

It was very early on a Sunday morning at the end of a tough week. A stop light brought me to a pause at a deserted intersection. That’s where it happened.

The phrase “flood of doubt” comes to mind. Between the mistakes I’ve made, struggles I have, and difficulties ahead, I suddenly reasoned that any day now the people who had followed me would abandon me.

“If they only knew,” I thought. “If they only knew how I struggled, doubted, and sometimes just wanted to quit, they would leave in a heartbeat,” the voice seemed to say.

Maybe you’ve had a moment like this. Failures rolled through my mind like a video at 100X speed. In seconds self confidence and courage were gone. It was like a “doubt drive-by.” It happened so fast. “If they only knew, they’d leave. Turn around. Go home. Call in sick. Quit.”

Then, it happened. I had a God moment. God moments are weird for me. Like an old friend on a road trip who’d been sleeping in the backseat, I felt like Jesus sat up, leaned over the seat, rubbed his eyes and decided to enter the conversation.

“Well, that could be true," he said, emerging from the darkness, "after all, you are a moron sometimes.” (I told you it was weird.) He continued, “But here’s the thing…I know…and I’m still here. As a matter of fact, I know more than anyone else could ever know about you, and I’m still here. I know the goofiest you there is,” he laughed and laid back down, “and look at me, riding down the road with you…still here.”

“They’re following you because I’m calling you. I’m still calling, so you keep leading.”

“Besides, it’s never been as much about you as you think it has.” (Normally that might bruise my fragile ego, but on this day, it was good news.)

Suddenly, the light changed, and so did my day. By the time I parked the car, the load lifted and the sun was peaking over the horizon, and in my spirit.

I guess He meant it when He said, “I will never leave you, nor forsake you.”

Don’t give up!